Monday, July 18, 2011

Adventures with: Dieting, Again

I hate dieting. Let me say this again, because I can't say this enough:


Yes, I put on quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy with Bug and it never really came off. I never really tried. Pregnancy was liberating in the fact that I didn't have to worry about what I was eating and I was supposed to gain weight. Best thing ever? Hell no. Pregnancy is miserable. In reparation to myself (for bringing life into the world despite the horrible misery of gestation), I continued to eat what I wanted. I don't heinously overeat. I don't exercise either. When I was thin, I used to joke that it was such an ugly word. Now, I don't speak of it at all.


I started dieting last year. I actually lost a substantial bit of weight (30+ pounds). I had a shitty year though (my spawn hospitalized, several family members died, reconnected with an ex-fiance) and it all came back. It took the whole year, mind you.

This time, I'm in it to win it. My mom was kind enough to get Mammaw, Bug and I a cruise for our Christmas presents.

The average weight gain on a cruise is eight pounds. I don't want to have to worry about ANYTHING while I'm on that cruise (it's my first), so I'm going to lose a lot of weight now and go apeshit on the buffet. When it comes to dieting, I'm go hard or go home. I eat mostly raw food and I try not to go over a thousand calories a day. It's rough. It's doable for me though. Even if I feel like Depressed Rabbit.

I do feel so much like the depressed rabbit and I've only been dieting for three days. (Cut me some slack, I'm the fat kid.) This is all I see in the horizon until December:


This is what I really want:

I'll be good, though. I don't want Greenpeace throwing me back in the water.

Are they still around, anyway?

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