Tuesday, March 6, 2012

New Rules

This is going to be a super short post because I'm doing the book blog thing (that you're welcome to go check out), and my brain has been overwhelmed by that lately. And this book thing that I'm doing a terrible job of writing. Plus, I know you guys are sick to damn death of me bitching all the time about whatever superficial problem I have going on in my life. (Rest assured, the Gingerman is gone, and there will be no updates on that. Period.)

Anyways, so the Gingerman shenanigans does not happen again, I am implementing some new rules in my life found on bitches gotta eat that I think are golden. That lady is a little over the top, so I won't be doing everything she talks about on her blog, but she has some good generalizations going on. Anyways, these are the main ones I'm going to use:

Delete shitheads from my phone? Done. And the Facebook is gone, so I can't stalk these guys and cry about not being pretty enough to keep him away from the fat, ugly bitch he was screwing on the side. Besides that, I really like the idea of deleting a guy's phone number if you don't hear from him for three days. Oh yeah, I learned something similar to that one from He's Just Not That Into You (the book, not the crappy movie). If he's not talking to you or calling you, it's because he's not thinking about you. No exceptions. (God, why can't I just get that in my head already?!)

I am the single mom of a five year old. I work for a living. I review books and paint as a hobby. I have a ton of awesome that I can be doing instead of moping over any guy who doesn't give two shits about me. You know what. I'm happy. I'm hanging out with my friends and doing what I love. I'm not spending my time worrying about someone that I don't even like that much. Oh yeah, if I'm stressing over you, I don't like you anymore. Why can't I ever remember that one either?

When I'm single, I remember that I'm an attractive female. Hell, I'm downright sexy. Why the fuck do I stay in a whatevership when I start feeling bad about me? I am a goddess, and you dumb assholes should be worshiping me. This last thing that I was involved in had me so down and low that even my best friend had a hard time putting up with me. This always happens. From now on, as soon as I start questioning myself - feeling crazy, ugly, whatever - you're gone. No questions asked. See ya.

I know that I should have figured all of this out in middle school, but I'm a slow learner. I'm a trusting, loving sort of person, and I assume everyone is the same. Well, kittens, from now on you get the benefit of the doubt for three days. If that. After that, I'm cutting you loose and setting myself free.

(Someone please remind me of this in a month.)

1 comment:

  1. Given your new rules (all admirable!), I respectfully draw your attention to @caitlinmoran's book "How to be a Woman" already out it in the UK, soon to be out here. I grabbed it while I was in the UK, I'm half way through and I'm loving it... it's kind of a funny feminist manifesto! It's dryly witty, and I think you'd like it!