Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Adventures with: Heartbreak and Valentine's Day

Hello, kids. International Single People Suck Day has descended upon us again. While you are reading this, I am probably hiding in a hole somewhere or wishing that I was. I have always detested this holiday, and I do not see this changing any time soon.

What happened to your resolution to be more positive, Kayla?

Funny that you should ask that. I am going to try to be positive. I am also going to keep it real. Valentine's Day even made me nervous back when I had a significant other. It even holds a special memory for me - in 2006, I got "morning sickness" for the first time during my pregnancy with Bug. I was miserably pukey, and it was beautiful.

All of that aside, this day seriously makes me sad and stabby. So if you see me around, do not approach me. I am going to be telling myself that I am so fucking amazingly awesome that I will not need any sort of distraction or interruption. If I stop, I will fall into the Bog of Eternal Stench a la Labyrinth. I think putting forth the effort is positive. 

To be honest, I am hurting right now. I know it will piss some people off in a major way for me to say it, but I miss the Gingerman a little. We had a six month whatevership, and I enjoyed the hell out of it most of the time. Even when things run their course, walking away is hard. Especially when feelings are involved, and they were on my end. I do not get to date intelligent guys very often. After several years of blank stares from beautiful idiots when I used a word with more than two syllables, I was ready to chain this dude up in my basement until he got enough Stockholm Syndrome to wander around freely. I wish that I was kidding.

Whether you want to admit it or not, when we date another person, it usually ends up looking like this at some point.

It's fun to give away your heart, isn't it? Let's pretend that the recipient is more excited to have it. (Be honest,  you will anyways.)  Sometimes they hand one back to you, though I'm sure it is not nearly as nice. There are other situations where an individual is extremely creeped out that you would hand that writhing mess over so soon. *looks away sheepishly*

We would all like to believe that it is being held fondly and lovingly by our counterpart.

That's a lovely fantasy. The sweetheart loves your gory mass that you have put him/her in charge of. It's probably because s/he has no ears. And an ugly sweater. See? There I go not being positive again.

Basically, what I've learned from this is that not everyone wants to hold your own slime. Yes, your heart is a lovely thing to give someone. No, I do not think that people should never fall in love again because the world is a big ball of suck that likes to shit consistently upon my head. Okay. Maybe I do. A little. But that's not the point. Hell, I got so caught up in the pictures that I'm not even sure that I have a point.

I guess what I am trying to say is be careful about who ends up with your internal organs. Make sure it is something they're interested in having, instead of it hanging out in their back pocket, while they spend the day aromatically mutilating it with their last meal's after-effects. And believe me, they will. Sometimes without even realizing it or meaning to do it. You also want to stay away from those shitheads who may as well be walking around with a scalpel and an ice chest.

I guarantee that you would not want to see the state of my poor passed around chest-meat. But I'll probably go on being just as free with it. I'm sure that I'll thrust it into the horrified hands of the next poor soul who will be locked in my basement trying to escape. I'll be smiling like the silly idiot that my friends think I am the entire time. Again. And again. And again.

But I'll still hate Valentine's Day.

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