Saturday, October 1, 2011

Adventures with: What I’ve Learned Since High School

During the month of September, the high school I attended held its annual Homecoming game. There was also a reunion, but I’m much too young for any of that nonsense. Anyway, I was in a midst of a migraine, so I missed the whole shebang. Instead of giving commentary on “Adventures with: High School Reunions”, I give you the things I’ve learned since high school.

1.)  It is NOT the best time of your life, unless you peak at age 16. (If you did, sorry. No, really, I am.) High school is horrible. You stink, your hormones are raging, and you have to be around other stinking, hormone-driven teenagers. How can that be fun at all? You’re subjected to bullies, peer pressure, getting into a good college, being in the right clique, wearing the right clothes, etc. I mean, who really enjoys that except for the before stated peakers? Below is me as a teenager. No, I was not a peaker (thank Bob!).

This was taken with a 35mm camera, so it does not fully capture the freckles and auburn hair. *shudders* Yes, I did not exactly have an easy time.

2.) It is okay to be a dork. (Yay!) I gave up any attempt at being cool when I was in grade school. I preferred books to real people and situations. I did not like brushing my hair or wearing makeup. Instead of trying to fit in with the cool crowd, I made some extra money by charging them to do their homework. Did they like me? Sure, but only as much as you would like guy who changes the oil in your car. Did I care? Nope. I used the money to buy my books. I also accepted Cuban cigars as payment, as I developed a taste for them in middle school. Yes, I was the smart kid with the cash, smoking Cuban cigars. All I needed was a Hugh Hefner robe.

I did find my “dorky” niche, though. I joined FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) and followed it all the way to presidency of our school’s chapter my senior year. I even got to go to the National Competition in Orlando, Florida. Is going to Disney World worth being a dork? As Mickey Mouse would say – “You betcha!”

I’m not doing much with myself now, but as a side note, most of my fellow dorks are VERY successful individuals. I’m talking doctors, lawyers, and such.

3.) You get your high school crush. I don’t know how this works out for the guys, but I can tell you ladies that if you don’t get your guy then, you can have him later. The trick to this is, you send him a private message on Facebook and somewhere in the message insinuate that you did indeed have a crush on him. Since he’s probably the guy who peaked in high school and is going through a messy divorce with his wife, he will cling to you like white on rice. So go ahead – get you some. Then you better run like hell and get that restraining order. What is the moral of this story? You can totally tell all of your high school friends, “Hey, did I ever tell you that I slept with Johnny McCool?” Just don’t get mad when they hassle you about his getting syphilis from Janet Fastly in the 11th grade.

So, children young and old, that is what I’ve learned. Life does get better, being yourself is golden, and yes, I slept with the captain of the baseball team. I just won’t tell you from which year. ;-)

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