Adventures with: Cleaning (or a Lack Thereof) -- Part Two

I woke up the next day to make my bathroom slightly less than disgusting for the visiting relatives (which is a trial with a four year old). The guys who came to our house to fix our satellite issues were quite a distraction. Oh, yes. Distraction. But I digress.

The satellite guys finished their job (which I had to supervise, of course) and turned the television on to make sure everything was in good working order. My favorite morning news/entertainment show happened to be on:

They were doing a segment on a man who had breast reduction surgery and was showing various pictures (which I will not illustrate -- today). The younger of the two satellite repair guys sat down on the couch next to me. We sat looking at the television with no words.

Then we giggled in unison. A lot. Believe me, the situation called for it. There is nothing like an awkward situation on television making for another awkward situation in your living room. Never doubt the fact that the greatest gift God gave us (after love) is a sense of humor. I hope you have yours, because I sure as hell keep mine close.



In case you are wondering, the satellite repairman and I fell madly in love. We knew from the moment we began to giggle that it was meant to be. Unfortunately, he had a wedding ring on, so I had to send him on his marry (hardy har har) way. All of this was said without names being exchanged or words being said. No, it's not just a figment of my imagination. Okay, fine. It is. But only a little bit.


Hey, a girl can always dream.

Adventures with: Cleaning (or a Lack Thereof) -- Part One

I will be the first to admit that I am probably one of the most easily distracted individuals to ever walk on the face of the planet, especially when it comes time for me to do something else. Hell, I was going to have this blog post written by Wednesday night, but you can obviously see what day this is.

The reason the cleaning was so important this go-round is due to my aunt coming in from out of town to visit. My grandmother was terrified that someone would want to sleep in the Kayla Cave, so I needed to clear some things out of there. By things, I mean everything that I brought with me when Eden and I moved in nearly five years ago. It started off as a temporary arrangement until I was able to get back on my feet. To be perfectly honest, I kinda like being on my ass. Not OUT flat on my ass, but doing a bit of lazing around. (I seriously don't really do that, except when it comes to chores. I have two parttime jobs with the same employer and I am usually enrolled in school.) Anyways, I've always held on to hope that I would magically come in to some windfall of lots of money and move into my own abode. It hasn't happened, so crap built up. I had filing drawers, art supplies, skinny clothes (which I will probably never wear again), and various other manners of junk. I treated them all as my "Precious" and dragged my feet in kicking the bastards out. Once I drug my feet into it, I was able to find distractions!

I'm going on a cruise in December and I always get a sunburn on my scalp if I'm outside for very long. I'm not a 100% pure Ginger - I'm what you would call a Daywalker - but I still have issues with getting sunburned quickly and in odd places. Instead of cleaning, I began fantasizing about the cruise and what I could do to ward off the sun. I had the perfect idea - I could use my beautiful scarves or sarongs to tie around my head in a turban! I had trouble finding a style to suit me, but after about 20 minutes of tying and retying, I was able to find something that worked for me.

Oops, I was supposed to be cleaning and not playing with strips of pretty fabric. I began cleaning again and was about to put up my other scarves. I then thought it was funny to be a ghost with all of my fabric!

Okay, it didn't look like that. I looked like Laurence of Arabia + Hot Mess + Very Little Ghost = Someone who should be CLEANING.

*sigh* I know, I was getting distracted. Time to go on with my duties. I had to get everything out of my room.

WAIT!!!

I needed to check my Twitter account. What is this? Authors are on there! I just had to pester them in any way possible to avoiding cleaning!

Sadly, they weren't in the mood to deal with my Shenanigans and did not distract me at all. I didn't even bring up Fraggles!

However...

Eden was hungry and wanted lunch! I didn't want to turn on the oven and I didn't have anything thawed out, so I decided to make some cornbread pancakes and greens!

Eden was horrified and did not eat anything. I did gladly, doused with vinegar from pickled peppers! *purrs* My little niece, Kember, also partook of the excellent feast.

Once I finished eating and began to look for other distracting possibilities, my friend Carrie showed up. She got out the whip (yes, I have one -- thanks, Sean!) and beat me into cleaning. Not really, but threats were made.

I got most of the room cleaned to a manageable level, and got rid of most of everything that I owned. Honestly, I didn't want any of the crap. Carrie did, and even made off with a Fry Daddy. Yes, I am a Southern woman. I keep deep fryers in my bedroom. What? You don't?

We ended the day by going on a field trip to Carrie's mother's house (another distraction from the task) instead of cleaning out the *shudders* bathroom. I shall save that adventure for Part Two.