I have three cases of baggy going on in my life.
I am still on a weight loss kick. I have not lost a lot of pounds this week, but I am down an inch or two. Every pair of pants that I own - except for my one pair of skinny jeans - is baggy. They are baggy to the extent that if I am not careful, I could get arrested for sagging if I went to Shreveport wearing them. I need to go shopping. My skin is also baggy. Saggy. Chewed bubblegum. Yes, I think it is time that I suck it up and start exercising.
This morning, I have been researching the other baggy all over the internet. Apparently, that Preparation H thing no longer works since the live yeast was removed from the formula. I know - LIVE YEAST! That is shudder worthy. Anyways, I have dark circles and bags under my eyes. Worse than usual. I did a very hard thing yesterday. I spent hours crying about it. I was up all night thinking about it. I have dark under-eyes naturally (sad but true), but this is ridiculous. There is no way, shape, or form that I can pull off my 25 today. I moisturize twice a day, exfoliate as often as my sensitive skin allows, I do not smoke, and I pamper my moneymaker (ha!). Still, brutal emotions will not even allow me to pull off my REAL age.
If this is not a reason to become a heartless, closed-off bitch, I do not know what is. Too bad I made those resolutions yesterday.
*sigh*
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Adventures with: Cray Cray
I try to avoid using the phrase "cray cray" very often, because I do not want to lessen it in any way, shape, or form. In fact, I put it up the Crazy Scale above "bat shit". So when I tell you that I have been adventuring with the "cray cray" lately, please understand that this bitch has been totally nuts.
Yes, I have been just rolling around in the insanity for the past month. First, I had that concussion. I don't care who you are or what you say, having a head injury is going to affect what you have going on in your life. I understood that there was something "not quite right" going on upstairs (I was having massive headaches and things like that get your attention), so I didn't make any major, life-changing decisions. I was even nice to the Gingerman despite him going a month without attempting to see me, forgetting about me on Christmas, and just being an all-around male. I knew that I shouldn't deal with stressful things while my wiring was a little faulty. Well... Except fight with my mom. I can do that year-round. It is to be expected. (And it was the holidays.)
I have been losing an insane amount of weight. I do not care how you diet, but when the pounds start falling off, it's going to affect you. The first three weeks are the hardest for me. I love losing the weight and seeing it melt off, but damnit, when you're hungry, it makes you think things. And do things. And want to do things. When you do NOT do those things, it makes you pissy. Or at least it does for me. I have lost 25 pounds in the past six weeks since my wreck. Yes, you read that correctly. I look like a deflated tire, but I am down to the same weight that I was my senior year of high school. (Please disregard the fact that I was fat my senior year of high school. I just like the way that sounds, okay?) So, I want you to combine the weight loss mindset with the recovering head injury. Are you starting to see what I mean yet?
This is the kicker here. This will completely and utterly explain where the "cray cray" comes in. If you are a guy or not a fan of the TMI, please skip down to the next paragraph. I'm serious. I'm about to say it. *stares* Alright then, you're asking for it. I don't ovulate. I haven't had a constant period since I was probably fifteen, and it's been MAYBE twice a year since then. Well, not really since then because after I had Bug, I got an IUD. That meant no hormone bursts for me, and a relatively normal life. Until, I had my IUD removed after it's five year expiration a few weeks ago. OH MY GAWD!!! I thought I was going to be fine until I let my body normalize a little. Nuh uh, didn't happen. It normalized all right. It normalized right to the hormone levels that I was dealing with as a teenager. Can you imagine suddenly finding yourself feeling as if the world was out to get you, although you knew full well that you're an insignificant speck on the wall of time? Or, that your friends all hate you because no one talks to you? No, it's not because they know that you hate talking on the phone or are the worst person alive about returning texts. That would make sense. Making sense is silly. Estrogen bursts do not believe in sense. It's all hormone-based emotions thrown on a person who hasn't had any more lady chemicals present in her body than those necessary to keep her from growing a penis. I'm guessing you're all females at this point, so imagine having an honest-to-Bob period after more than six years without that pleasure. And after hellacious PMS that has not been around here in more than a freakin' decade. Yes, it has been bad.
Did I mention that I have panic attacks, too? I haven't been taking my medicine since my wreck because I didn't want anything like that while my head recovers. So, let's throw together a concussion, a diet, estrogen, and a panic attack. I swear to you, it feels like a teenager has hijacked my body. Half of my brain is trying to talk to me and reason me through this, but the rest of me has thrown the bat shit out the window. I have gone full-fledged cray cray.
But did you see where I've lost 25 pounds?
Yes, I have been just rolling around in the insanity for the past month. First, I had that concussion. I don't care who you are or what you say, having a head injury is going to affect what you have going on in your life. I understood that there was something "not quite right" going on upstairs (I was having massive headaches and things like that get your attention), so I didn't make any major, life-changing decisions. I was even nice to the Gingerman despite him going a month without attempting to see me, forgetting about me on Christmas, and just being an all-around male. I knew that I shouldn't deal with stressful things while my wiring was a little faulty. Well... Except fight with my mom. I can do that year-round. It is to be expected. (And it was the holidays.)
I have been losing an insane amount of weight. I do not care how you diet, but when the pounds start falling off, it's going to affect you. The first three weeks are the hardest for me. I love losing the weight and seeing it melt off, but damnit, when you're hungry, it makes you think things. And do things. And want to do things. When you do NOT do those things, it makes you pissy. Or at least it does for me. I have lost 25 pounds in the past six weeks since my wreck. Yes, you read that correctly. I look like a deflated tire, but I am down to the same weight that I was my senior year of high school. (Please disregard the fact that I was fat my senior year of high school. I just like the way that sounds, okay?) So, I want you to combine the weight loss mindset with the recovering head injury. Are you starting to see what I mean yet?
This is the kicker here. This will completely and utterly explain where the "cray cray" comes in. If you are a guy or not a fan of the TMI, please skip down to the next paragraph. I'm serious. I'm about to say it. *stares* Alright then, you're asking for it. I don't ovulate. I haven't had a constant period since I was probably fifteen, and it's been MAYBE twice a year since then. Well, not really since then because after I had Bug, I got an IUD. That meant no hormone bursts for me, and a relatively normal life. Until, I had my IUD removed after it's five year expiration a few weeks ago. OH MY GAWD!!! I thought I was going to be fine until I let my body normalize a little. Nuh uh, didn't happen. It normalized all right. It normalized right to the hormone levels that I was dealing with as a teenager. Can you imagine suddenly finding yourself feeling as if the world was out to get you, although you knew full well that you're an insignificant speck on the wall of time? Or, that your friends all hate you because no one talks to you? No, it's not because they know that you hate talking on the phone or are the worst person alive about returning texts. That would make sense. Making sense is silly. Estrogen bursts do not believe in sense. It's all hormone-based emotions thrown on a person who hasn't had any more lady chemicals present in her body than those necessary to keep her from growing a penis. I'm guessing you're all females at this point, so imagine having an honest-to-Bob period after more than six years without that pleasure. And after hellacious PMS that has not been around here in more than a freakin' decade. Yes, it has been bad.
Did I mention that I have panic attacks, too? I haven't been taking my medicine since my wreck because I didn't want anything like that while my head recovers. So, let's throw together a concussion, a diet, estrogen, and a panic attack. I swear to you, it feels like a teenager has hijacked my body. Half of my brain is trying to talk to me and reason me through this, but the rest of me has thrown the bat shit out the window. I have gone full-fledged cray cray.
But did you see where I've lost 25 pounds?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Adventures with: Hooray!
I may have mentioned this in passing to a few people, but I haven't advertised it heavily as I have in past adventures. I don't like the pressure. Anywho, I've been kinda dieting. I mean, it's nothing hardcore - Bob forbid I should exercise. *shudders* I've been eating smaller portion sizes and mostly raw fruits and vegetables. And *sigh* no cake. That being said -
Yes, I know that is not ideal for a month's work (I'm 5'1" with a small frame under the pudge), but half of that time was spent puking from a concussion. I'm in it to win it now. I lost weight a year and a half ago when I was doing my crazy diet, but most of it came back. That being said, if I lose another 15 pounds, I'll be down to the biggest that I was before I had Eden. If I lose 30 pounds, I'll be high school weight (later teen years, mind you). So I'm going to see this through.
Will losing weight change my life? Not really, I don't hate my body now. However, if I want to lose it, I should do it soon. I'll be 25 (shut up) next month, and I've heard it gets harder to lose weight after passing that future decade marker. I just figure that I may as well do it now.
Also, you're all invited to enjoy my birthday with me next month. Unfortunately, there will be no cake.
I've lost 15 pounds since December!
Yes, I know that is not ideal for a month's work (I'm 5'1" with a small frame under the pudge), but half of that time was spent puking from a concussion. I'm in it to win it now. I lost weight a year and a half ago when I was doing my crazy diet, but most of it came back. That being said, if I lose another 15 pounds, I'll be down to the biggest that I was before I had Eden. If I lose 30 pounds, I'll be high school weight (later teen years, mind you). So I'm going to see this through.
Will losing weight change my life? Not really, I don't hate my body now. However, if I want to lose it, I should do it soon. I'll be 25 (shut up) next month, and I've heard it gets harder to lose weight after passing that future decade marker. I just figure that I may as well do it now.
Also, you're all invited to enjoy my birthday with me next month. Unfortunately, there will be no cake.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Adventures with: Dieting, Again
I hate dieting. Let me say this again, because I can't say this enough:
I HATE DIETING!!!
Yes, I put on quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy with Bug and it never really came off. I never really tried. Pregnancy was liberating in the fact that I didn't have to worry about what I was eating and I was supposed to gain weight. Best thing ever? Hell no. Pregnancy is miserable. In reparation to myself (for bringing life into the world despite the horrible misery of gestation), I continued to eat what I wanted. I don't heinously overeat. I don't exercise either. When I was thin, I used to joke that it was such an ugly word. Now, I don't speak of it at all.
HOWEVER
I started dieting last year. I actually lost a substantial bit of weight (30+ pounds). I had a shitty year though (my spawn hospitalized, several family members died, reconnected with an ex-fiance) and it all came back. It took the whole year, mind you.
This time, I'm in it to win it. My mom was kind enough to get Mammaw, Bug and I a cruise for our Christmas presents.
The average weight gain on a cruise is eight pounds. I don't want to have to worry about ANYTHING while I'm on that cruise (it's my first), so I'm going to lose a lot of weight now and go apeshit on the buffet. When it comes to dieting, I'm go hard or go home. I eat mostly raw food and I try not to go over a thousand calories a day. It's rough. It's doable for me though. Even if I feel like Depressed Rabbit.
I do feel so much like the depressed rabbit and I've only been dieting for three days. (Cut me some slack, I'm the fat kid.) This is all I see in the horizon until December:
*sigh*
This is what I really want:
I'll be good, though. I don't want Greenpeace throwing me back in the water.
Are they still around, anyway?
I HATE DIETING!!!
Yes, I put on quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy with Bug and it never really came off. I never really tried. Pregnancy was liberating in the fact that I didn't have to worry about what I was eating and I was supposed to gain weight. Best thing ever? Hell no. Pregnancy is miserable. In reparation to myself (for bringing life into the world despite the horrible misery of gestation), I continued to eat what I wanted. I don't heinously overeat. I don't exercise either. When I was thin, I used to joke that it was such an ugly word. Now, I don't speak of it at all.
HOWEVER
I started dieting last year. I actually lost a substantial bit of weight (30+ pounds). I had a shitty year though (my spawn hospitalized, several family members died, reconnected with an ex-fiance) and it all came back. It took the whole year, mind you.
This time, I'm in it to win it. My mom was kind enough to get Mammaw, Bug and I a cruise for our Christmas presents.
The average weight gain on a cruise is eight pounds. I don't want to have to worry about ANYTHING while I'm on that cruise (it's my first), so I'm going to lose a lot of weight now and go apeshit on the buffet. When it comes to dieting, I'm go hard or go home. I eat mostly raw food and I try not to go over a thousand calories a day. It's rough. It's doable for me though. Even if I feel like Depressed Rabbit.
I do feel so much like the depressed rabbit and I've only been dieting for three days. (Cut me some slack, I'm the fat kid.) This is all I see in the horizon until December:
*sigh*
This is what I really want:
I'll be good, though. I don't want Greenpeace throwing me back in the water.
Are they still around, anyway?
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